domestic violence get help

Where to Find Help

Making the decision to leave an abusive relationship is difficult.

You may need to not only consider the safety of your children and yourself, but also where you will live, how you will secure money and food and how you will handle harassment from your partner.

Remember, that it is your choice alone whether to stay with or leave your partner. No one can make this decision for you. No matter what you decide, there will be people who agree and disagree with your choice. You need to do what you feel is best for yourself and your children. There are advantages and disadvantages associated with staying in the abusive relationship and leaving it.

If you believe you are in an abusive relationship, where can you get help? What should you do to protect yourself? You will find answers to these questions on this page.

Safety Plan

Organizations you can call for help:

Call 9-1-1 for Police or Sheriff
ADV Crisis Line – (951) 683-0829 or 1-800-339-7233
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224

Call ADV for more information regarding a safety plan that is personalized for your protection and particular situation.

Contact Us
adv safety plan

Technology Safety Planning

Created June 2003, Revised May 2004 by Safety Net: the National Safe & Strategic Technology Project at the National Network to End Domestic Violence.

Tips to discuss if someone you know is in danger

Technology can be very helpful to victims of domestic violence, sexual violence, and stalking, however it is important to also consider how technology might be misused.

1. Trust your instincts. If you suspect the abusive person knows too much, it is possible that your phone, computer, email, or other activities are being monitored. Abusers and stalkers can act in incredibly persistent and creative ways to maintain power and control.

2. Plan for safety. Navigating violence, abuse and stalking is very difficult and dangerous. Advocates at the National Domestic Violence Hotline have been trained on technology issues, and can discuss options and help you in your safety planning. Local hotline advocates can also help you plan for safety. Call ADV’s 24-hour Crisis Line.

3. Take precautions if you have a “techy” abuser. If computers and technology are a profession or a hobby for the abuser/stalker, trust your instincts. If you think he/she may be monitoring or tracking you, talk to a Crisis Line advocate or the police.

4. Use a safer computer. If anyone abusive has access to your computer, he/she might be monitoring your computer activities. Try to use a safer computer when you look for help, a new place to live, etc. It may be safest to use a computer at a public library, community center or Internet café.

5. Create a new email account. If you suspect that anyone abusive can access your email, consider creating an additional email account on a safer computer. Do not create or check this new email from a computer your abuser could access, in case it is monitored. Use an anonymous name and account: (example: bluecat@email.com, not YourRealName@email.com) Look for free web-based email accounts and do not provide detailed information about yourself.

6. Check your cell phone settings. If you are using a cell phone provided by the abusive person, consider turning it off when not in use. Also, many phones let you to “lock” the keys so a phone won’t automatically answer or call if it is bumped. When on, check the phone settings; if your phone has an optional location service, you may want to switch the location feature off/on via phone settings or by turning your phone on and off.

7. Change passwords & pin numbers. Some abusers use victim’s email and other accounts to impersonate and cause harm. If anyone abusive knows or could guess your passwords, change them quickly and frequently. Think about any password protected accounts – online banking, voicemail, etc.

8. Minimize use of cordless phones or baby monitors. If you don’t want others to overhear your conversations, turn baby monitors off when not in use and use a traditional corded phone for sensitive conversations.

9. Use a donated or new cell phone. When making or receiving private calls or arranging escape plans, try not to use a shared or family cell phone because cell phone billing records and phone logs might reveal your plans to an abuser. Contact ADV’s Crisis Line to learn about donation programs that provide new cell phones and/or prepaid phone cards to victims of abuse and stalking.

10. Ask about your records and data. Many court systems and government agencies are publishing records to the Internet. Ask agencies how they protect or publish your records and request that court, government, post office and others seal or restrict access to your files to protect your safety.

11. Get a private mailbox and don’t give out your real address. When asked by businesses, doctors, and others for your address, have a private mailbox address or a safer address to give them. Try to keep your true residential address out of national databases.

12. Search for your name on the Internet. Major search engines such as “Google” or “Yahoo” may have links to your contact information. Search for your name in quotation marks: “Full Name” Check phone directory pages because unlisted numbers might be listed if you have given the number to anyone.

For more technology safety information, call:

ADV’s 24-hour Crisis Line: 1-800-339-SAFE (7233) or 951-683-0829 TTY 951-679-8365

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 800-787-3224

Where to Look for Help

LOCAL and RIVERSIDE COUNTY AREA:

  • Riverside County Suicide HELP Line: (951) 686-4357
  • Other County Referrals: Call 211

STATE OF CALIFORNIA:

NATIONAL LEVEL:

  • Asian and Pacific Islander Institute on Domestic Violence
  • National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
    Charles B. Wang International Children’s Building
    699 Prince Street, Alexandria, Virginia 22314-3175
    Phone: (703) 274-3900, Fax: (703) 274-2200
    Website www.missingkids.com
    Hotline:1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)
  • Faith Trust Institute
    2400 N. 45th Street #10, Seattle, WA 98103
    Phone (206) 634-1903
    Website www.cpsdv.org
  • Institute on Domestic Violence in the African American Community
    University of Minnesota School of Social Work, College of Human Ecology
    290 Peters Hall, 1404 Gortner Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55108
    Phone 1-877-643-8222
    Website www.dvinstitute.org
  • United States Department of Justice
    Office on Violence Against Women (OVW)
    Website www.usdoj.gov/ovw
  • Jewish Women International
    2000 “M” Street NW #720, Washington, DC 20036
    Phone 1-800-343-2823
    Website www.jewishwomen.org
  • Violence Against Women Office
    U.S. Department of Justice
    10th and Constitution Avenue NW #5302, Washington, DC 20530
    Phone (202) 616-8994
    Website www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo
  • Sacred Circle
    National Resource Center to End Violence Against Native Women
    722 Saint Joseph Street, Rapid City, SD 57701
    Phone 1-877-733-7623
  • National Latino Alliance for the Elimination of Domestic Violence (ALIANZA)
    P.O. Box 672, Triborough Station, New York, NY 10035
    Phone (646) 672-1404
    Website www.dvalianza.org
  • Family Violence Prevention Fund
    National Health Resource Center on Domestic Violence
    383 Rhode Island Street #304, San Francisco, CA 94103
    Phone (415) 252-8900, TTY 1-800-595-4889
    Website www.endabuse.org
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline
    P.O. Box 161810, Austin, TX 78716
    Phone 1-800-799-7233, TTY 1-800-787-3224
    Website www.ndvh.org
  • National Gay and Lesbian Task Force
    1325 Massachusetts Avenue NW #600, Washington, DC 20005
    Phone (202) 393-5177
    Website www.ngltf.org
  • National Center for Elder Abuse
    1201 15th Street NW #350, Washington, DC 20005
    Phone 202-898-2586
    Website www.elderabusecenter.org

What Our Partners are Saying

We’re grateful for the support of our partners, and the community that works to improve the lives of those who are in need of help from domestic violence.